I don't know why the ladies reporting this paranormal assault couldn't be reached, but I would hope that the police would think to check for ectoplasmic DNA if they report another attack. If they don't, how do you identify the father perpetrator?

Dear Mr. President: I would like to thank you for the check which I am about to receive. I feel it is only fair that I inform you that it is my desire to make a donation in the exact amount of my check, to the Democratic National Party. This, I believe, is the best way to honor the intent of the payment, and help prevent this economic downturn from getting any worse. However, this must (for me anyway) remain simply my wish, rather than my action, as the housing market forces me to use the stimulus there, instead. This, of course translates into paying rent. Thank you for your attention Mr. President, and I eagerly await the most pleasant words you ever speak, which will be on or after January 20th.

Well, sort of.

I'm trying to work out the kinks in our automated appointment scheculing system at work. Seems we forgot a few scenarios. The system asks a series of questions, and then determines whether to schedule a caller an appointment, based on the answers they key in. There are 3 programs a caller can be scheduled for. There are alo some key factors as to whether a caller can be scheuled for any of these programs. These are:

1. Has the caller already recieved program A
2. Has the caller already recieved program B
3. Has the caller already recieved program C
4. Is the caller eligable for program B
5. Is the caller eligable for program C
6. Is program A available
7. Is program B available
8. Is program C available

Those of you playing along at home will notice that this seems to be 256 possibilities. However, there are aditional factors that render some of the questions irrelevant. Suffice it to say that I only have to work with 146 of these combinations. But then again, that's the kind of thinking that got me into this mess. Maybe I'll tough it out and work on all 256. Luckily, I have to test 18 of these tomorrow.

If anyone is follwing this rant and can imagine where the number 18 came from, would you please test the other 238 combinations for me?

Sorry, I'll go to sleep now.

Ok, Did my part. Took forever, but I did my part. Came in as alternate delegate. Was determined not to go on to next level, so didn't fill out the form. Got there about 15 min early, checked in, and began the waiting process. Waited about 3 hours, and learned that I was to be voting. Well, at least I didn't wait for nothing, which was a possibility. So I got my voting credentials and waited some more.

Finally time to see who wanted to go on to the congressional caucus level. There were 10 delegate positions, 5 alternate positions, and about 45 people running. Since we had all done so much waiting already, nobody wanted to hear 45 speeches. So we did what they call a run-off. This meant that we got to do an initial vote that would eliminate all but 20 candidates. These 20 candidates were each allowed a 1 minute speech to get our vote. Now, mathematically speaking, I should have been able to choose 5 to eliminate, but procedure stated that i needed to give the names of those I was voting for, not against. Eventually, after the votes were all tallied; oh, wait, I don't know what happened then. All I know is that I turned mine in and was allowed to leave. Since I was no longer needed, and I had been there about 5 hours, I didn't find this unreasonable.

Side note: Only one speech giver convinced me to NOT vote for them. She stated that she would never vote for Hillary Clinton because she (Hillary)supported Bill throughout Monica-Gate. I don't presume to know what arrangements the Clintons had behind closed doors. More to the point, I wouldn't presume to say what arrangements they "should" have, and how Hillary "should" have reacted.

Ok, done grumbling.

Possible Google Bug

Well, as I've warned my spam-prone, and now (thanks to me) interweb-phobic coworker, "Any website can lie to you. Anything you click on, can do anything to your computer. It doesn't have to tell you what it's doing."

For those who knew of toilet_trc's medical situation, It may interest you to know that he is doing better after a recent procedure he underwent. He may be seen out and about, but be warned, his mental status hasn't changed, at least, not for the better. He seems a little obsessed with cloning technology.

ok, you this cut tag is your warning,for beyond lies madness. ( Youtube Filk )

Went to the Democratic caucus yesterday. It was definitely worth going. Even with a record turnout, your vote counts for a lot more than in a primary. Yes, I know the Democratic primary doesn't have any real effect. No, I'm not going to vote in the Republican primary (though it would be perfectly legal) to skew the Republican nomination. Not to say I think ill of those who do, but I think it's poor timing. If our state's Republican party believes that the Democrats are skewing their system, they'll change it. I don't think this election is the time for that. I think the Democratic party already has a good enough chance to win, regardless of the Republican nominee. If Democrats avoid voting in the Republican primary this year, the weakness in the system may go unfixed, allowing the chance to abuse it when it WILL make a difference.

That being said, how do I become a campaign adviser for my opposing parties' candidates?

Went to visit my dad yesterday. Hadn't seen him in a while, and it was good to catch up on things I otherwise wouldn't hear. After we had dinner, we decided to stop at the bar to have a drink. Let me rephrase that. I had the intention of having A drink, meaning 1, maybe 2. That was the plan. Anyone who has seen me drink more than this can probably attest to the fact that I am a lightweight. After the first drink (a gin and tonic), dad motioned to the waitress to bring another round. I should have stopped right there at 2. However, this was North Bend, and dad knows everyone in town. The gentleman that made our drink is sometimes known to poor them strong. I assume that they get even stronger if he's making them for someone he knows. I was able to tell that the first one was rather strong. The second one seemed strong at first, but then less so. It occurred to me that my taste buds were no longer offended by strong tastes. This of course meant I was well suited to have a Bloody Mary, since no matter how spicy it came, I would be able to tolerate it. This was a mistake. When this round was complete, another gin and tonic was placed in front of me without my having asked for it. What was I to do? Um... Oh yeah... drink it, thats what you're supposed to do with a drink right? I get up to use the restroom, and find another fresh drink in my spot when I get back. While drinking this round we ask for the check, and I notice that we weren't charged for the final round or two. O.K., dad knows these guys WAY too well. When we get back to dad's place, he pours us each a crown and coke. I tell him that's gotta be it for me. Now for the fun part. Those of you playing along at home will realized how many times my proper limit I actually drank. I spent the night at dad's, trying to sleep on the couch, the recliner chair, and finally the floor, trying to get comfortable. You can guess that I did not wake up properly this morning, my head slightly stunned. It has taken me the better part of today to mostly recover. Still a little achy, but otherwise myself. I'll be avoiding anything alcoholic for at least a week while I let my liver recover. Please let this post serve as permission for ANYONE to cut me off after two drinks. While it's all well and good to know my limit, I think it will help if other people know it too.

Yes, I am a bit insane. Yes, I am taking up the Challenge. Yes, I actually wrote today.

( Here's my starting concept. )

I started off with a goal of 1,667 words per day to make it to the goal of 50,000 for the month. (ok that's 50,010 if you use 1,667 as the average, but who's counting?)
Today's total: 1,726. I'm not behind yet, but I'll keep my lj updated with my daily numbers.

Only 48,274 to go!

I have fallen into the world of geocaching, and now feel like everyone but me is breaking the most important rule: GET F***ING PERMISSION FROM THE LAND MANAGER BEFORE PLACING THE CACHE!!!!

Another geocacher, whom shall remain nameless (for now) placed a cache on the property of parties unknown (possibly park property, possibly department of transportation property, who knows?) and seems to have published the cache without any difficulty. Another geocacher, whom I shall leave in the same category as the first, placed a cache in a city park, without the park management's authority. Sure, a minor attempt at permission was made, as this second geocacher sent an email to the parks department responsible for the park in question. No response was received, so this geocacher placed a cache anyway, deciding not to try any further measures of securing permission.

I on the other hand, decided to place a cache in a city park WITH permission. I found a location, and contacted the city park department responsible for the park. The city park department granted me permission, given I follow certain guidelines. These are simple guidelines, such as don't cause any damage to the park, or let it be damaged by others searching for the cache, don't climb trees to place it, etc...(WERE THESE SAME GUIDLINES APPLIED TO THE CACHE PLACED BY THE SECOND GEOCACHER MENTIONED ABOVE, IT WOULD BE IN VIOULATION OF THESE SIMPLE RULES) I was happy and placed my cache in the park, only to find that someone else had another cache located too close to mine (within 0.1 miles) for me to place it where I had planned. (There's is a multi-cache, and so didn't show up on the map as a location with a cache) I then chose another park to place my cache in. This time, in a different city. After waiting more than a week to get a hold of the person who makes such decisions, I was told the city parks department did not have a policy in place for geocaches, and would I please wait until they do. I recommended she contact the city where I originally wanted to place my cache, and copy their policy. She said she would, but for me to please wait until then to place it. I, of course, agreed that I would.

So now, I here I sit, waiting to get permission to place my cache in a city who's parks already have caches that the parks department is unaware of, hoping that my location isn't again thwarted by an already existing multi-cache, and wishing I wasn't the only person I know who is following the F***ing rules!

On the plus side, I know I won't get sued.

It's another dinner to cook, and I wanted something that felt right for the changing weather. So, I decide, I'll roast some summer sausage, (don't be fooled by the name) red potatoes, and some squash I'm not a bit familiar with... hmm.... maybe....turban squash!
See the disaster coming? I bring said ingredients home, and grab my produce guide to judge cooking times. Ok, so turban squash takes 2 hours to cook. Plan B? Cook this dinner tomorrow, and make something else tonight. That was yesterday.
In the meantime, I learn that the squash is shy all votes but mine. Plan C? Cook the sausage and red potatoes as planned, and find another vegetable now that the squash has been deemed an autumn decoration.
Wandering the produce section of the grocery store tonight, I come up empty. So I settle on a simple bag-o-salad, and I grab a bottle of French dressing to go with it. I dish up the plates so that the salad makes it onto all of them without being "accidentally" overlooked, adding a dollop of dressing on the side. Though I expect it to go uneaten, as my kids are not exactly known for their love of vegetables, I get a surprising reaction from my 9 year old.

"Daddy, can we have salad every night?"

Hmm... what's a dad to say to that?

Less than a heartbeat after she asks comes my answer: "YES!"

You've probably seen those little page-a-day desk calendars right? These are the square ones on a plastic stand that you can either nail to a wall or extend out a little plastic leg that usually folds back and causes the thing to fall. They tend to have a funny theme that makes you want to look ahead a couple days when you need an extra laugh. Well, I make it a policy to only look at the current date. No looking ahead. Why? Well, because the calendar I have could land me into a whole day of unproductive time. That's why.

The calendar I had last year,(365 stupidest things ever said)was innocent enough. (at least one per week seemed to be a George Bush quote) This year's calendar, however (365 wacky websites)has plagued me all year with sites about hats made of meat, the origins of band names and more. The worst part is Fridays. The makers of this calendar had the foresight to know that I, and countless other office drones, love wasting time on the internet. They therefore set the website for Fridays as a " T.G.I.F. Time-Waster". I have spent untold amounts of time online shooting frogs, running cats over with a car, burninating peasants, and staring at a live web cam in Aruba, pretending I am on vacation.

Reality check: The energy program opened up its phone lines on October 1st. I have been too busy working to pretend to work. As of today, my little time wasting calendar still says October 1st. And it only says that because I changed to a new page before all the chaos began. Tomorrow I'll just skip half the month so I can be up to date.

Well, maybe I'll keep the Friday pages.

I know this post comes a bit late. I got back 2 weeks ago, but since I haven't posted since, I figured it would make sense to post it anyway.
We stayed with my in-laws, and I got to re-meet Aladriana's grandparents and aunt. They were all fun in their own ways.
I must say, that if you're going to take a trip, and want to see the really good sights that only the locals know about, go Geocaching. Some of the stops we made might have be in someone's travel brochure, but not all. Although Steptoe Butte was nice, meeting other cachers there made it more memorable. We would likely not have stopped at a fun store filled with folk art had it not been near/part of, a cache location. If it weren't for the fact that we were Geocaching, we would never have met Diatryma.

( Diatryma )
He was down a dirt road that you would never dare taking if you didn't have a specific reason for traversing. Another, even more remote dirt road, (this one closed in the winter due to the danger of falling off a cliff)held a geocache next to a cliff overlooking a lush bayou area that very few people would otherwise get to see. I can hardly wait for our next road trip.

Got up at 6:30 a.m.  (instead of 6:00 as planned) and got ready to leave.  Got out the door at 7:30 ( instead of 6:30).  Filled the tank and prepared to leave renton.  Stayed prepared untill trafic on I-405 was light enough to let us through and onto SR-900 at about 8:00.  This wasn't what I had been hoping for, but it is about what I expected.  You to leave town at a certain time, you aught to plan for earlier.
    The rest of the drive only had one real trafic issue.  Our youngest passenger required the facilities of a rest stop. As we approached the rest stop, we were intercepted by a construction zone. The construction was occuring in the oncoming lane.  So, of course, the entrance to the rest area was on the left. When we got to the entrance, I signaled left, and the construction worker waved me forward instead.  Great. Useless flagger din't give a hint of what else to do.
   Ahead on the left there was an unobstructed, construction worker free turn off, next to a silo.  As it turned out, there was a neerby port-o-potty, possibly for the construction workeres.  After the little one finnished buisness, we departed, needing to turn left back onto the road.  By this time, I had forgotten that I was entering back into the construction zone, and the fact that I couldn't see any construction workers where I was at didn't help.  Seeing that the trafic comming from my left was more than adequit to complete my turn into the right lane, I proceded to do so. This is when it reoccored to me that  construction in the left lane can mean oncomming traffic in the right lane.  This was soon obvious as I watched the oncomming vehicles approach, with only the shoulder for me to pull off onto to let them by.  As I exited the work zone, flagger who was now holding the oncomming traffic at bay stopped me. He had seen me pull back onto the roadway (though I haddn't seen him through all the construction cones).  "you shouldn't have turned left back there with this craffic comming your way" he told me.  Now that the road ahead had no more construction, I quickly explained that I had forgotten until after turning that it was only one lane, and left.  Another useless flagger.  
    The rest of the trip was hazard free, but left me with a lesson learned.  When considering a candidate to fill the position behind the mall information desk, please think hard when there resume announces that they have been a flagger.

I have now completed a full week of getting up earlier than usual. The big trick left now is to use the time for something a little more productive than staring at a computer screen.

This is morning number three of my "I'm going to become a morning person" experiment.  I expected today to be much harder than the previous two, as today is Saturday.  The temptation to sleep in, however, was not as great as I feared.  Step 2: now that I'm getting up earlier, I want to make productive use of this extra time without re-introducing the temptation to go back to bed instead.

I've been wondering for quite some time now, whether I can become a morning person. Granted, I don't mind sleeping in. It's the rushing out the door in five minutes because I did that gets to me.
As habit would have it, I have turned to the interweb for a solution to my problem. A suggestion I came across, (and thus my experiment) suggested that I use two part approach. Part one: Go to bed when I'm tired. O.k., it's not rocket science, but I do have a habit of going to bed either when I'm way passed tired, or when I'm not quite tired yet. Part two: Always get up at the same time, and without using the snooze button. Again, not complex in theory, but in practice it my prove difficult.
So last night I began by going to bed when I thought I was tired. (about 10:00) As it turns out, I don't know when I'm tired. I couldn't sleep. Backup plan? Do something instead of trying to sleep. So I grabbed a book. The plan was to read until I couldn't follow the story without rereading it. When I reached this point, I found I was able to put down the book, and go to sleep.
This morning, I woke up earlier than I planned. I, however, had no intention of getting up right away, because I am trying to set my body's alarm clock to a different time. So I stayed in bed until the alarm went off. I turned it off, (without using snooze) and got up. This has left me more time than I'm used to having in the morning. I've already managed not to skip breakfast, and even had time to write this journal entry.
Let's see if I'm this cooperative with myself tonight and tomorrow morning.